


a-okay

by QuidProCrow



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Angst and Feels, Dreams and Nightmares, sad girls with sad feelings, vaguely happy ending? sort of. maybe?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 18:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11087445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuidProCrow/pseuds/QuidProCrow
Summary: Laura and Donna will go through any lengths to make sure the other is okay.





	a-okay

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes you spend ten days writing a weird fanfic with laura palmer only to realize, after ten days, that you kind of fucked it up and no one should ever read it but you're in such a laura palmer VIBE because twin peaks is back and you love twin peaks and you're cosplaying laura palmer next weekend and you have so many FEELINGS about laura palmer in general that you just sit down and bang out another damn fanfic about laura fucking palmer and feel a little bit better about this one 
> 
> or is that just me? it could. just be me.  
> anyway, here's donna and laura and no capitals whatsoever, cause i have too many feelings about their friendship and what they tried to do for each other

sometimes laura is so, so quiet. she positions herself in the chair across from donna, kicks her shoes off, flings her legs over the back, adjusts her skirt, folds her hands and stares up at the ceiling and doesn't say a word. sometimes she closes her eyes, and donna thinks she's dreaming, although she can't be sure. you can never really be sure with laura. 

donna sits on the couch on the other side of the room and watches her. "laura," she says, just loud enough that laura could hear her, if she is awake. 

"what, donna?" laura asks. her eyes are still closed, her voice a soft murmur. 

"you okay?"

laura laughs a little, through her nose. her mouth curls up at the corners. "a-okay, donna," she says. 

laura tends to lie, especially nowadays. but donna should know how laura lies, and she doesn't think laura's lying this time, so donna really tries to believe her. 

there's something in twin peaks that laura doesn't like, or that makes her uncomfortable, and donna doesn't know what it is. she doesn't know if she should ask, or if she wants to ask, or if laura would even tell her if she did. and what would donna do, anyway, if laura told her? it's not like donna has a good track record of advice-giving, where laura's concerned. 

so donna keeps her mouth shut, and just hopes that it's not _her_ , the thing in twin peaks that laura doesn't like, because she couldn't stand it if she was. donna wants to be the one thing that never hurts laura. laura's too good for that. laura's too good for a lot of things. probably even donna. but laura sticks around, so donna figures she has to have _some_ reason. whatever it is. donna's got to be doing something right, doesn't she? even if she's _uptight_. 

sometimes donna thinks about taking laura away from twin peaks, away from whatever worries her. and donna would, if she was a different person and thought she could get away with it. but she's not, and she couldn't, so she just tries to understand, to be there, but donna has a sick fear in her chest that it's not going to be enough, one of these days, and laura will leave and she won't want donna to follow, or she'll get stolen away by something donna won't be able to stop. 

donna bites her lip. "laura," she says again. "you sure? you sure you're okay?" 

but laura doesn't move. asleep, then. she's genuinely asleep. it's something donna doesn't often see nowadays. she usually sees laura pinch herself awake instead, like she doesn't want to fall asleep. it must be something, that she's asleep now. it has to be something. 

donna sighs, and she starts on her homework. and then she does laura's homework, for good measure, because donna is nothing if not loyal. 

 

[the hayward living room is so quiet. it's so calming, laura thinks. the whole hayward family is calming. there's no secrets or problems or lies here that get swept up under the rug when people come over. it's an escape and laura will escape there for as long as she can, dammit. _let me have this,_ she thinks. _let me have this one, good thing._

the ceiling is a creamy sort of color laura has called stupid on more than one occasion, but she loves it now, instead of the pale white of her house. she feels safe at donna's house. she feels safe with donna. if she thought it would solve any of her problems, if she thought it was okay to do, if she thought she was worthy of it, she'd take donna and go somewhere else, somewhere where the trees didn't hold secrets and didn't stare at her and where everything was brighter and kind and that certain horrible darkness didn't always linger at the edge of her vision. donna deserves all the bright things in the world, but laura isn't one of them. she hasn't been one of them in a long time. 

but donna still stays, so laura must be worth _something_ to her. she has to be. she shouldn't. but she must be. 

donna asks her if she's okay, which laura thinks is the funniest thing in the world. is she okay. what does that even feel like? laura doesn't know. but she'll lie to donna until she can't do it anymore, so donna won't understand and donna won't go away. 

laura closes her eyes. the silence in the hayward living room isn't heavy and dark, it's sweet and soft and kind, and laura could cry from how much she wants to never move again, to just stay here and forget she has any other life. 

she hates to dream because that's all she thinks about in her dreams, almost always, that she can't really escape from her life. it's a horrible thought. she's tried to run from it for a long time and it's catching up with her. 

and it finds her here, in the hayward living room, because if the world is good at one thing it is punishing laura for thinking she could control anything in her life at all. 

the woods are too dark. it's a weight that clings to her skin and her bones and she can't move. she's never been to this part of the woods before but it doesn't matter, they're all terrifying, they're all too deep and too wild _but so is she,_ so she must belong here, eventually. _your sins will find you, laura,_ she tells herself, and it echoes all around her, because who said dreams ever made sense? but hers all make a horrible, sickening sense. 

donna is here. and why wouldn't donna be here? this is her living room. no, _this is the woods,_ laura reminds herself, _this is a dream and donna shouldn't be here, because he's here and donna can't be here, donna cannot be here._

it feels too real and it feels like too much of a dream. and she sees him, or does she just see herself? and his hands and her hands are on donna and _no,_ donna is good and pure and right and she can't be here, _she will not be here,_ laura won't let her be here. she will hurt donna over and over again if she has to to make sure donna stays away so _donna is safe,_ safe from laura. laura will give up everything important to her, even donna herself, just so donna stays _good_. 

her eyes snap open.]

 

laura jerks awake with a gasp, her eyes flying open as she jolts up. she pulls her legs down and turns around, her face pale, her hands trembling as she clutches at her sweater, right over her heart. 

donna looks up, anxiety thrumming in her chest as she puts down her pencil. "laura?" 

laura's eyes snap up to her. "donna," she says, "are you okay?" her voice shakes when she asks it, her eyes just on that edge of wild. 

donna blinks. why wouldn't she be okay? but laura looks so scared, and it's a look donna hates to see on her. laura should never be scared. "i'm okay," she says softly. "you okay, laura?" 

laura doesn't answer right away. her mouth is a hard, taut thing, and the line of her shoulders is drawn tight. she stares down at the floor like it's shocked her, like she's seen something completely unforgivable. 

"i'm okay," laura whispers. "a-okay, donna." then she looks back at donna and smiles, the corner of her mouth curling up in that small smile donna has seen charm every single person in twin peaks. including herself. so she knows, but she forgets, for a moment, what she knows for a fact. that laura is scared of something, something dark, that laura herself is so twisted up that donna worries she'll never unravel laura all the way, she'll never understand everything. 

but right now, laura is smiling, and donna still wants so much to believe that smile. so she does. laura's smile is blinding, and so, at least, is her strength. and donna will do anything, _anything,_ to prove to laura that she's worthy of it all, that donna can keep her safe. she'll lie, if she has to, pretend she doesn't know, just so that laura stays, stays okay. 

laura's smile wavers, just for a second, and then it pulls back. "i should probably go," she says. "i've got stuff to do." 

"alright," donna says. she holds out laura's books. "i did your homework. you always forget, anyway." 

laura swallows. she reaches out and slowly takes her books, folding her arms around them tight. "i don't deserve you, donna," she says quietly. 

"sure you do," donna says. "every hero needs a sidekick, laura." 

"yeah, donna." laura rolls her eyes. "you're the _sidekick_." she walks out of the house, out the front door.

donna watches her go, laura's long sweater drifting behind her in the february breeze.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me about all things twin peaks on my [tumblrrrrrrr ](https://whoslaurapalmer.tumblr.com)


End file.
